I'm home everyone and I've crashed. All I feel like doing is sleeping the day (and night) away. I just feel like bursting into tears and hiding. I can't do any of those things however, the Mrs has her kids here for the weekend and there is a family event tomorrow... it's all too much too soon. I only made my stay at respite so short because of the kids coming and the family event, otherwise, I would have stayed longer if it was possible.
When I get like this it scares me. It really does. This was supposed to stop me heading into the hospital. I've got things to keep me going (like study and art), but right now I don't give a rats about any of that.
I could never tell my Mrs how I feel right now. She wouldn't understand and would take it personally, which she shouldn't. I'm red on the traffic light system, but I weakly smile and say I'm green. Here at home, I can't take showers to ground me if I have panic attacks. I'm stuck.
