Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

Well my Mrs has agreed to come and tour the respite house with me (I'm in a new catchment area to last time I accessed respite, so will go to a different place). We'll book me in when I am there.

[Former-Member]

well done @Queenie I'm so glad that you have been able to get your mrs on board and that you're going to get the rest you need. Hope you're feeling ok with it all?

[Queenie]

I feel kinda stupid approaching her saying I'd ike some respite, as I wear the 'mask' most of the time. It is only here on the forum that I let my guard down. At least now she's on board and I can go under my terms. 

Something I was surprised about today was she came back from her carer's counselling session with paperwork for nominated person under the mental health act. I am a little confused how this works as last time I had one of these was when I was scheduled under the Act. I'm not currently so confused how this would come about now. Basically, she wants the right to sit in on sessions with my psychiatrist if I want her there. My psychiatrist refuses to let her in, stating that I am mostly a competent adult and therefore am capable of making decisions about my treatment myself. I find the man is good, but he doesn't really listen to me regarding meds and therapy (he had the statement "schizophrenics need medication not therapy"). I find I need a combination of both. Now my support has dried up (I've used my 10 sessions with the psychologist and my psychiatrist appointments are being scaled back), my Mrs is worried I'm not getting adequate support. I was supposed to be getting a support worker and a referral was made, but nothing ever came of it. I called the offices and they knew nothing about it and said it must have gone to the state head office. I called the state head office and they said they sent it on to the local office (which hadn't heard of me). The referral process and waiting list was long and tiresome and very stressful. I don't really want to go through it again!

I had little social interaction with people outside the home. I don't speak with people at the pool (I leave that to my Mrs). She is worried I am becoming socially isolated and, to be fair, I most probably am. I just don't know really what to do with it. Even at respite, I won't speak to anyone except for the staff when they ask me questions. I pretty much stick to myself.

[Kurra]

I've been with the one partner for 46 years @Queenie. There is no way that I would agree to having anyone being nominated to attend appointments etc with me unless I had reached the point where I was no longer capable of rational thought or until my ability to comprehend the spoken and written word was significantly compromised. I intend to retain my independence in all matters until that is no longer possible. Be careful lass. I'm concerned for you. 💕

[Queenie]

I'm treading very carefully @Kurra. She mentioned that she'll recommend no ECT, but I am against that decision as ECT has saved my life on two separate occasions. 

It's all a bit of a worry. I go private and voluntary, so I doubt she'll be needed as a nominated person. Aren't they only required if you are under the Act?

[Kurra]

I'll check tonight @Queenie. This situation sounds frightening. In my opinion a committed relationship is not about controlling your partner. I'm seriously concerned for you.

This sounds much more like a medical power of attorney. That's serious stuff and not to be undertaken lightly. Contact your state Office of the Public Advocate. They will be able to advise you properly.

From what you write here I can see no need or requirement for you to require this form of control. I'm fairly certain you'll find this comes under the Guardianship Act not the Mental Health Act. Regardless I would be getting legal advice as quickly as possible. Put it this way: Even when I was detained under the Mental Health Act and had been declared clinically insane at no time was there any suggestion that I needed to have a guardian appointed.

If I were ever in that situation I would ensure that a person independent of my family were appointed because the stressors placed on my partner could completely destroy the relationship itself.

Take care 💕

@NikNik
This could be a discussion worth considering for Topic Tuesday at some point.

[Kurra]

https://www.qld.gov.au/law/legal-mediation-and-justice-of-the-peace/power-of-attorney-and-making-dec...

law/legal-mediation-and-justice-of-the-peace/power-of-attorney-and-making-decisions-for-others/advance-health-directive

These two documents should help you @Queenie. I have an Advanced Health Directive also known as a living will. This way I am the person making any decisions about me even if or when I have become incapable of doing so myself. Hugzzz 💕

[Queenie]

All this nominated person/medical power of attorney stuff is moving far too quickly for me to comprehend. I suddenly feel really depressed. My friend wound me up yesterday with worry, saying all people on DSP for psychiatric illnesses are being moved to Newstart. I can't afford treatment on Newstart and private health insurance. I told her if that was the case, then I'd likely end my life. I told my Mrs that and it caused a huge fight and she said I was being selfish. I probably was being selfish, but I still stand by what I said. 

I completely fell through the cracks of the public health system and the thought of working full time stresses me out no end! I can barely make it through studying, let alone working. Yes I have dreams of being a social worker, but that is a loooong way off when I am a lot more stable and doing a lot better. Why do people need to stir others up?

I was in tears most of yesterday afternoon too because I realise I have such a warped relationship with my family. I beg to be included (at any cost) and yet they continue to emotionally take advantage and abuse and neglect me. This made my Mrs angry too and we had another fight because she believes I should forget about my family and focus on her and her family. It isn't that easy! I can't turn my back on my own flesh and blood, even if they have done the same to me.

Argh!

I think I need respite before something big blows up!

[Kurra]

That sounds a very good idea @Queenie. Please don't sign anything until you've got professional legal advice. Hugzzz 💕

[Queenie]

I called the respite house to make an appointment and was completely shut down. The rules have changed and although according to their website I'm eligible, the funding rules have changed and funding has to be granted prior to respite being approved.

There goes that idea 😞