Topic Tuesday // Helping a loved one who doesn't want help // Tues 26 June, 7pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

Great @HayleyC - I don't think it makes a difference in terms of what you are researching, just that you are researching is a good step. By feeling more informed we can share that information or that information can help our perspectives when approaching discussions with our loved ones

[Kelly]

Well said Corny! My son has schizophrenia, you could be talking about him.

[sbmc]

I agree, so important to recognise that lack of insight can be a protective thing for people if they don’t have the skills to cope with a belief that feels painful for them.

[Yabitha]

sorry I disagree with you Sane

if you are going to do secret research and start talking about your loved ones "behaviour" behind their back, its only going to lose all trust and all chance of you working together with them

do research together

dont leave them in the dark about what to expect from their health condition

help them and you get as much information as you can and talk about it together

dont assume they will automatically allow you to make decisions for them

always ask first

[Former-Member]

This is really interesting and insightful @sbmc - wonderful that having that wealth of information has helped the way in which you approach your mum. When we can resestablish our relationships we can hopefully open up that path where our loved one can realise there own needs for help and support

[Corny]

Just before my Dad died I started reading about this Dr in the USA who was a twin. His brother had schizophrenia, but he didn't. 

He decided to begin researching the 'lack of insight' that is so common in this brain disorder.......I haven't returned to it and continued reading about him, been a little distracted, but yeah, he wanted to uncover exactly why. They're not being annoying, for many people it is just another part of the condition exactly like hallucinations are or anxiety or depression... 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Yabitha,

I think this is a very valid point. Researching your loved ones struggles doesn't at all need to be done in secret. How you research is definitely up to you and whatever your current situation is. Sometimes it can be helpful to know a bit more about mental health to then talk to your loved one, or you can definitely research together, or even discuss needing to do some research. Transparency is a great thing. And just to clarify this is all a discussion amoungst peers and I am offering some thoughts and ideas - these do not necessarily mean they are the right way or the only way 

[sbmc]

@Corny Good point. I also like to remind myself that we will all lack insight at points or in some respects. These cognitive skills lie on a spectrum, so when I can recognise my own moment of lacking insight, it helps me to relate and respond in a way that is less likely to push my mum away

[Former-Member]

@Corny - I don't think I had a chance to welcome you tonight. Thanks for sharing this and I am sorry for your loss. I hope some of the findings from the research helped you a little bit. Its okay to take your time on that too, read as you feel you want to and are ready

[HayleyC]

I think doing research on the mental illness isn't necessarily something you're doing in secret - but can be seen as you want to help, are concerned, and are trying to take steps to care for them? But I can see how it might be perceived by someone with a mental illness - could lead to potential mistrust and perhaps even some paranoia...