Lived Experience Forum

[Chee]

Hi there everyone

I've been awake most of the night thinking about something recent that happened to my nieces 

It's made me think of something that happened to me as well but I find it really difficult to discuss

Even with my therapist it's harder to talk about than anything

And I guess I wonder what the rules are here on what we can bring up and mention? 

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Chee , it's good you've joined.

I'm sorry to hear that both you and your nieces have suffered trauma 😞

Do you write things down for your therapist to read? I find that's easier...

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@Chee wrote:

And I guess I wonder what the rules are here on what we can bring up and mention? 

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We can mention very general things like "SA" (sexual assault) or "CSA" (child sexual assault) or "child abuse" or "childhood trauma", but not the details. Obviously there are a lot of people with trauma on the forums, and we need to be able to discuss the trauma, while at the same time trying not to trigger anyone. You can read the Guidelines on safety here . 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply. 

I hope you find the forums a supportive place.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Chee,

Welcome to the forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. Please know that you are in a safe and anonymous space with a lot of supportive members with a variety of lived experience.

I'm sorry to read that your nieces have gone through something recently that sounds traumatic. It must be painful for you both as their aunty but also as it has triggered memories in you that sound very difficult. I understand that something take a really long to time share in therapy (and for some people they can't ever share). I would encourage you to take your time but know that your therapist is there for you if and when you are ready to talk about what has been triggered in you.

I'd also like to sincerely thank @NatureLover for their response to you and explanation around sharing sensitive information - it's much appreciated. The only thing I might add is if you do want to share something sensitive you may want to add the on the first line of your post `Trigger Warning' just so you give the forum readers a heads up before they start reading your post.

Wishing you and your nieces all the best,

FloatingFeather 

[Little_Leopard]

I really feel for you with this. When these things happen it can feel like we are reliving our pasts. Us trauma survivors  are really good at empathising and we tend to automatically mirror the grief and experience of others who are suffering.

We really need to take care of ourselves and step back emotionally where possible. We do not want to mesh our experience with the experience of others. I know that very hard when the person is so close to you. 

The good news is that you are in a place to understand what your niece needs. Compassion, love, support and a stable adult figure who the child can rely on.

In terms of self care I use cold exposure therapy (in safe doses) and guided meditation through the Calm app. Those things most help me when my symptoms flair up.

I would recommend that you do not disclose any specifics on the forum. It’s not good for your own privacy and it will likely be triggering for many readers. If you want to talk specifics maybe you can call the SANE hotline?