Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Welcome @MDT - tonight we are discussing being a male that is in a caring role! 

[Former-Member]

@Nino thats wonderful that your study and work intersects in a way that helps with your identity 

Nice one on the motorbike @Determined - and trying is all you need, small steps but the awareness is there which is awesome

[Adge]

I was expected to be an emotional support for my mother, when I was only 10 years old - & did many of the household chores.

I was blamed for not looking after my brother, when I was only 5 years old (he was 4).

I looked after, & helped to raise my youngest brother (when in my teens).

Those are excessive expectations to put on a young child (me).

So no, there is no support or understanding from my relatives - they simply expect me to do it.

That's why I have lived interstate, for the past 25 years.

Adge

[MDT]

As in caring for someone sick @Former-Member

Or being a caring person?

[Determined]

Additional note on identity

For a long time my 'identity' was closely tied in with my work role. In a lot of ways because it was a form of escape from the challenges at home resulting in long hours at work. So when I lost that job (resigned) due to burn out not only did I loos that part of my identity that was when  my darling also really derailed as not having me providing and not knowing what the future healed was too much for her. Particularly me being lost and not knowing what to do. I have always had to put on a brave face as the foundation for darlings wellness. 

[Greg_MenCareToo]

Hi @eth great to hear different perspectives, I think we can learn from eachother 

[Former-Member]

Welcome @eth thanks for coming along 😊

Awesome that you make the time to go to art classes @MrDad - so valuable to take that time for you. 

[MrDad]

I agree that sharing anonymously or in a professional setting is better suited to many men. I often find that simply being able to vent, tell my story, or even just be in an environment that is supportive is very helpful,

[MDT]

@Greg_MenCareToo

What sort of caring do you do? And how qualified do you need to be for it?

[Greg_MenCareToo]

@Adge you touch on an important topic there of young carers, there is more support and awareness around these days but still a way to go.