Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Nino]

@Former-Member Ironically, in terms of identity, I study and work in the helping professions and find that it has helped me better understand myself as a person and the one I care for

[Greg_MenCareToo]

Great question @Former-Member 

Volunteering and studying are two things that have given me something to focus on, to be proud of and that helps me connect with others socially.  It took quiet a while to feel ok about pursuing my own interests and not feel guilty or that I was letting anyone down by not being there 24/7. 

It is hard to do, but what has helped me was to think about the future and how having outside interests would help me be better prepared for if, or when my caring role changed.  Having something else in your life, big or small, is an important part of your own well being. 

[Determined]

@Former-Member  this is something I have not achieved yet. 

Only recently I have started to get back into some photography as something to do with our S2 .and at the end of last year got myself a motorbike (after dreaming about it forn25+ years) 

Trying hard to work on this area .

[MrDad]

@Greg_MenCareToo I have had some conversations with friends and family. I don't have much family left. Both parents have pass on as has 1 sister. My other 2 sisters and I don't really talk much. They are considerably older than me and have their own families including grand kids and even a great grandkid of their own to be involved with. That leaves me with friends some of whom I have been close to for nearly 40 years. They are aware and we have had some discussions. I sometimes feel uncomfortable discussion myself and I know they do too. Here nobody knows me and I can talk. Bit like sharing with the professionals. I don't have to maintain a friendship and don't have to worry about them or the effect my issues may have on others when I talk to Professionals on in this or other forums.

[Greg_MenCareToo]

@Determined Relief is a good word to use when talking about sharing something important with someone else.

[MDT]

Hi forumites
What is tonight's topic?

[JMRD]

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@MrDad Yes. Mental health and illness is poorly understood by many people. And there are still many false and bias opinions about mental illness.
When people do not understand something, they are uncomfortable talking about it. On top of that, if we tell them that we are in trouble because of our mental health, they feel helpless. Since they don't understand, their suggestions do not address the issues. 

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[MrDad]

I have support to do Art Classes once a week. This is my hobby and I paint and draw regularily,  I also go for walks to just have a short time out when appropriate.

[eth]

Evening all  @Former-Member @Greg_MenCareToo @Nino @Determined @MrDad @Shaz51  @JMRD @Adge @MDT and anyone I've missed tagging.   Want to say it's great to see this discussion happening.  I've been long aware that it's harder for male carers to get the support they deserve from the general community, or even friends and family.  

I should say I'm not male, but have been a disability carer both at home and at work for decades and hope to contribute usefully to the discussion.  In my work I supported several male carers over the years.

Great that you're doing this work @Greg_MenCareToo  and also that you are sharing here to all those participating tonight.

[Greg_MenCareToo]

@MrDad I think the opportunity to share some of the frustration or challenges anonymously is well suited to us blokes.  If it works that's what matters.