Lived Experience Forum

[gyp]

I am so over having major depression and lack of sleep. I feel like a 5 year old in an adult body not able to sort out my problems. Oh god I am hating this life, just having to face each day gives me nausea and intense anxiety. I am so fearful of ending up on the street homeless as my son and gf are feeling the pressure of having me in their place. I thought I was making the right decision to move away from a rural country town with no services and a unhealthy relationship...no...same shit different day. I just drag my big ball n chain with me. When does it stop! When u have no money u are treated poorly. My physchatrist was bulk billing me, now I have to pay...and I have no centrelink yet. God what do people do in these circumstances? I just cant stop crying and feeling abandon just like my family did to me many years ago. Sorry to pour all this junk on here..no one to talk to.

[Shimmer]

Hi @gyp,

Wow, it sounds like things are really rough for you right now, with your emotions, lack of sleep, financial difficulties and insecure accommodation - I'm sorry to hear it. I'm glad that you have come onto the Forums for some support.

It sounds like you are feeling really overwhelmed right now with so many different issues to sort out. Sometimes it can be helpful to focus on one at a time to feel a bit more in control. Is there one issue that stands out as a priority for you to tackle first? Perhaps others on the Forums could help brainstorm strategies or services that might help.

Even though things are so hard right now, it sounds like you are really fighting to get through them, for example by moving somewhere with more services, trying to figure out what to do, and reaching out for support - good on you.

We're here for you as you find your way forward

[Bridgetjones]

@gyp sorry to hear that life is feeling tough for you at the moment. Hope you find some solutions and feel better soon.
sending you a hug and best wishes
Bridgetjones

[Madrooster]

Hi @gyp,

How are you feeling today? Did you manage some sleep?

Really sorry to hear how you are feeling - but PLEASE dont apologise for posting on here. I am only a new contributer, but already find it helpful to myself to post - and also helpful to read and interact with others who understand.

The whole idea of the forum is to be there for each other - so use it as often as you feel the need - and know that the people you intereact with understand and care.

[gyp]

Hello Madrooster I got some sleep last night but I don't know how much. I have new sleep meds and they are givin me anxiety, I have tried several others with horrible affects. I feel I am not me anymore and finding harder to communicate with people. I just don't want to go on anymore with this debilitating disease, major depression. So many do not get it, they say go for a walk, swim etc...i can barely move. I have pain that I have never experienced with previous depression. I have always been an outdoors person and loved nature and cant see the beauty in anything at the moment. That worries me as I spend more time inside with the curtains drawn thinking about how to get out of the miserable life of information just going around and around in my head. I have thought of how I can get out of life without leaving pain on my adult son, have not found one yet. So I stay trapped with this black slimey thorny beast controlling my life. I cant say I like your name Madrooster, I had a very large austalorpe black rooster who attacked me randomly..i was so fearful of him. I could not catch him due to his size and had to get someone to dispose of him..i still get chills if that rooster comes into my mind..i know u cant do that because this is a forum not a chook pen. X

[Madrooster]

Oh @gyp - that made me laugh. I can assure you there is nothing sinister in my username - I support a footy team known as the roosters - and most would agree that I'm mad!

I can see the pain you are in - I'm fortunate that by MI doesn't result in any physical pain so a walk does help me. Are there any foods or drinks that have helped in the past? My daughter finds chocolate helps her sleep - not sure if it does - or if its an excuse to have dad buy her chocolate. She is a sufferer too (and an adult) so if it helps im happy to oblige.

Use the forum for ideas and companionship whenever you feel the need - its good to know that there are others out there battling the same issues and in numbers there is strength. 

I might not fully understand what you are going through, but like others on the forum will happily listen to your problems and offer support as best I can.