Lived Experience Forum

[Mumo4]

I've struggled with depression for most of my life . I've had a shopping and gambling problem as well.my partner is very controlling so it doesn't help. I've got myself into debt again and can't bring myself to tell him. He wants to refinance the house to get a car but I'm so stressed he will find out about my debts. I'm actually so scared about my future right now!

[pip]

Hi Mumo4. You are going to have to 'come clean' as the saying goes. I would also think about contacting 'gamblers anonymous' and ask for some help from them. You are going to need emotional support and it sounds as though your partner won't be much help. Once he tries to refinance he will find out. Get some help, guidance and perhaps a counsellor could give you some support, but he HAS to know and best to come from you, rather than a stranger. You are not alone with this addiction, there are many people who can support you, but you have to reach out.

[Rockpool]

Hi @Mumo4,

A warm welcome to the SANE Forums

It must be so hard going through shopping and gambling issues and keeping this a secret from your partner.  I can definitely appreciate that you cant bring yourself to tell your partner about the debt and this must be incredibly stressful.  if he is enquiring with the bank about refinancing that is a possibility that he will find out. It may be a matter of you thinking about how you would like him to find out about the debt. 

@pip has a good suggestion here about contacting Gamblers Help.  This may be a good place to have an initial discussion about what is going on and the possibility of your partner learning about the debt.  If you are interested in this, you can look up the number for gamblers help using a search engine, sorry I cant provide the number here for you but the number differs depending on which state your living in.

What sorts of support do yo have in place at the moment @Mumo4? Support and self-care are so important during times of stress.

Talk to you soon.

Take care

[Sehnsucht]

Hi @Mum04,

Just wanted to say I have read this and wish you to find support asap. Thinking of you.