@TAB, I'm too preoccupied at the moment to delve into the depths of your posts in finer detail, but I've gathered that you are having difficulty avoiding resorting to alcohol to fill the voids in your life and I've got to share some ideas with you. I get that you'll probably disagree, let it roll over you like water off a duck's back etc., but it is this:
When I lost my family and everything I'd worked for, I decided not to look upon it as an ordeal or an obstacle, but an adventure and an opportunity to find my true self without obstruction. I saw a preview of a Nick Knowles program recently where he said that the difference between an ordeal and an adventure is attitude, so he and I agree.
Giving up alcohol is like giving up on self-pity, a social crutch etc., which is a comfortable and familiar way of life, but we only have one life and it is, for the most part, what we make it. Giving up alcohol leaves an enormous gap in one's life—habituation—and it has to be filled with something that is both fulfilling and distracting. I'm not saying it's easy. It's difficult, but remembering that you'll have failures along the way that you'll have the opportunity to learn from is half the battle. Often, the people we are mixing with are just not the right mix. Look for another group after giving it your best shot.
Join a sport group, a club of some kind, learn a new skill, do a course, learn something to do with your new home—gardening? eg. Find what really interests you. YouTube has how-tos for everything imaginable, but make your activity something that leaves you with a 'product'—a skill, also a social skill, greater knowledge on a subject of interest etc., something that has enabled you to grow into your better self.
I have used the above to save myself to date and I've failed many times, but after dusting myself off and getting up the courage to try something else at a later date, I am, at present, in a good place
I only wish you well, @TAB.
