Thanks for the invitation, @Oaktree.
I’m at a local cafe, eating orange cake and drinking a decaf iced latte. Feeling a bit spacey, like gravity isn’t quite sure where it is.
I just started a new medication, so the floatiness is likely partly that.
I’m taking some time off work and struggling with it. I guess I’d be struggling a lot more if I was there, though so will try to bring gratitude to the ‘free’ time.
I have a long term relationship with depression, and had some severe anxiety in the first half of the year.
I’ll put all this in the stories or introductions thread eventually.
I think the best description for where I’m at is burnout; but I talked to a GP yesterday who said he thought it was PTSD, from vicarious trauma at work.
I had never for a second thought I had ptsd.
So I’m here, unsure what’s happened and what should happen next. But trying to be glad that there’s space for me to have this time. And simultaneously feeling exhausted, shattered, dislocated, and shame for not being strong enough or productive enough or engaged enough - not being enough.
Please excuse me if all this isn’t quite right for this thread - but as I say, I feel quite foggy, and am grateful for the chance to say hi and what brought me here.
To be a little more on topic: enchiladas for dinner for us tonight, once I manage to step out all the stages needed to make them happen. (So many steps!!! And my brain Is so tired. It will be good to do and yummy, though, I know).
Hope everyone has had a good mid-spri g day.
