Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

nice to see you @Teej xo

[Teej]

Thanks @outlander 👍🏻

Spidey senses going off @CheerBear . Are you ok or just very busy? 

[Teej]

Webs now going off, it’s getting messy here @CheerBear . Want to spill (I can catch the spill in my web 😘) or not. It’s ok if not, I’ll just get the cobweb broom out. Thinking of you for whatever is going on......even if that is not wanting to deal with an OTT intense teej (with a week to go for hormones to take a break 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:). 

💜🤗

[Shaz51]

hugs my @Teej 

Hello @outlander , @eth , @Bimby2 , @CheerBear 

[CheerBear]

Haha @Teej 😆 I'm good thanks. There are about a million angles I could take with a "how are you" kind of question. I was replying (typing a post using email so I don't lose it because that's happened to me too many times lately) trying to not write the worlds longest post. I'll post in a sec. Thank you for caring and for looking out for me ❤ Hormones - yay! 😏 (hearing ya)

Hey @Shaz51. Hugs for you - you always give them out and they make me smile 🙂❤

[Teej]

Cheers @CheerBear , I’ll just get the cob web broom out. Phew lucky you responded when you did or I’d have a lot more to clean up 😜😉

[CheerBear]

Hiya @eth, @Teej, @outlander, @Shaz51 and all 👋

I haven't been around much as we have been with family and interstate extended family since the end of last week. I've not long returned home for a night with just me and the furballs so I can do my gig thing tomorrow. The quiet is already bliss! I was so in need of time out and was very happy to be heading home on my own this afternoon.

It's been pretty full on in lots of ways. My parents are having trouble as one deals (or not) with his MH while living with his unwell-ness. Their relationship has been a big source of tricky in their life and as a result in my life too, and I find it really hard in a different way with him now being sick. In so many ways I can't tolerate being around him in the way he is but at the same time I feel awful for him and want to spend time with him while there is some. When I see and feel the way he is I feel bad when I don't stand up or speak out, but I feel bad when I do as I can't imagine going through what he is. I feel stuck in the middle at times and stuck wanting to make it all better and fix it all, knowing I very much can not. I'm glad I have a night on my own tonight.

The other full on parts have been good. There are kids, dogs, cats, big people, video games, board games, late nights, muddy wet walks through big trees, creeks and hills (I have rainbow polkadotted gumboots which wearing as they make me happy 😍😆). The kids are having a great time with it all.

That's me. One day of holidays down 😉🎉👍

@Teej last night I had a dream (an awful nightmare really) and the setting was back in our old house we returned to for a visit while he was there. When I read your post I felt a shudder imagining some of what you might be going through. You're brave and strong for doing what you are, even if it might not feel it, and any wonky-ness is so understandable. How long until you think this chapter might be able to be closed?

@eth and @outlander hope you've both been doing well enough ❤ @eth thanks for your post earlier.

@BryanaCamp I wanted to say hi to you also. Thank you for asking how we are going. The kids are hyped up, feral, energy balls - it's great (sometimes) 😁 My worky thing has been super and I am so looking forward to getting in there again this week. I haven't read much around here the last few days but think you're not far off starting work? I hope it goes really well for you. I'll have a wander around later and see if you've shared about it 🙂

Looking forward to catching up around here soon ❤

[Shaz51]

yaaa holidays @CheerBear 

i remeber them wellllllll

Hormones---- ha ha yaaaaa @CheerBear , @Teej , @outlander , @eth , @Bimby2 

had lots of leg cramps last night , soo painful , sore legs today

[CheerBear]

Holidays always make me want to protest for higher pay for teachers @Shaz51 😆

Sorry about your leg cramps and sore legs. That sucks a lot!

[Teej]

Awesome to read of the fun parts you are having with family @CheerBear . It sounds like great experiences for all. LF must be loving it.

i can understand the tricky with the well and unwell ones. Maybe the self care time away will help a bit for you. It must be so so hard for well one. Does well one have close friends or siblings that are good listeners too?  

@CheerBear  My situation is quite tricky in that he has pretty much given up on everything. You have to fight through cobwebs in every room of the house. Everything in the cupboards we take out is full of webs and spiders eggs. It has layers of dust everywhere. The rats have got into lots which we are just throwing away. The kitchen bench was covered in mice poos and wee and so it’s like a haunted house but he still lives in it. He told me he’d been accused of the old behaviour again but denied he did it. I’ll never know but suspect when I connected the dots he did. There is now a seven ft fence the neighbour has erected, so spidey senses think that life is tricky for him. I have to remember though that he was the one who stopped seeking help and when he was seeking help he wasn’t doing it for him. I still struggle to put the two versions of him together. It not healthy for me to try anymore though. 

The boys and and I talked through the emotional stuff last night which was good for us all. I have my doubts that he can prepare the house for sale. I know I have to go back to the lawyer next week and sort more out. 

Am ok for anyone to respond to this. @eth I’ll tag you since I said I’d catch up earlier.