Sometimes a really good method of support is checking in on your listening and observing skills. This can help us notice when and how we can approach our loved one. Sometimes by noticing that when they are in better headspaces that these are better times to gently make plans or open suggestions vs when they may just need you to listen.
It can seem trivial but by investing in our listening skills and building up the trust with our loved one that we can simply listen at times, will help them feel supported and find their path to opening up and allowing for help.
Some examples of listening skills:
- Validate
- Use ‘I’ statements to share your feelings rather that ‘you’ and invite your loved one to do the same
- Inquire ‘what would have worked better for you’ ‘how can I make that easier for you’
- Your loved one may feel they need implicit “permission” from you to talk about it. This permission includes subtle cues that let them know it’s okay to talk, and that you want to hear what they have to say. Try using brief prompts such as, “Go on,” “How did that make you feel?”, “Then what?”, and “Tell me more.”
- Allow for silence We’re often taught that silence in a conversation is bad and to avoid it at any cost. But by allowing for silence during active listening, you open up a space for others to talk and think
NB: the above is taken from this article: https://blog.ioaging.org/caregiving/active-listening-caregivers-can-make-communicating-older-adults-... I will add this link into the resources at the end again so you can have a chance to read it after. Disregard the setting of this is for older adults but it’s applicable to all situations!
How do you listen to your loved one? Do you ever find it hard to listen? Does anyone have some tips on listening skills and if it has helped you to notice when your loved one may be more receptive to suggestions vs needing to be heard?
