Hi everyone, just joining the discussion late now after reading through the posts so far. I have bipolar 1 and know well how extremely different the social states can be between manic and depressed.
Mostly I have experienced the depression side of things in my life, and have mostly been introverted in the way I relate to the real life world. During the worst of these depressions, I isolate a lot in the wider social world, but have been lucky to find a few good people to be close with over a longer period of time. Duration of friendship matters to me a lot, for the deeper shared knowledge of each other that people tend to find over time and shared experience.
One thing I got from going crazy with socialising when manic is some understanding how to be a bit more extroverted at other times, which has helped me in this later part of my life. Though mania is not generally a good thing, I found some life learning even there. At that time I had about 100 friends! Now I have my long time best friend and companion, another close friend I've known for a long time, and quite a few people at a distance that I mostly only have contact with when we are in each other's home vicinity.
I am pretty lucky in that I have come to know lots of people as acquaintances and/or colleagues through my creative life at different times, though I've often hidden my mental illness, or at least never revealed the severity it has often taken. Most of these people are a long way from where I live now, but sometimes turn up out of the blue from interstate for a few hours visit, with a long time between. I value these too.
Overall I have been working towards having more friends and acquaintances in my real life over recent years, as I have very little family connection aside from my elderly mother, and so do need for a stronger social support from friends. I believe have been doing well with this, in baby steps, though am still only really close to a very few people, and am still prone to isolating from week to week, though much less than before.
I too am working on self forgiveness for things I have done in the past in anger and madness, as well as reaching out to make amends with those I have hurt, but only when it seems appropriate and not an imposition on them.
I tend to write long posts. Sorry for going on so long in a group chat. It's an important issue to me, as with many others here. Like many others on the forum, I find it much easier to be truly honest about who I am, and especially about my mental illness, in this virtual, anonymous space. It has been so valuable to me and others to have this special place to support and know each other, day to day, and for those of us who have been around for a while, even year to year. Though virtual, I believe we do find profound friendships here, that enrichen our lives.
