What has been your journey with eating disorders and seeking help?
My journey with eating disorders began when I was in my late teens (around 16ish), although it wasn’t picked up until I was in my late 20s – 12 years later. Growing up, my body was just my body – I rarely gave it second thought. But this all changed when I hit high school and my body started changing (thanks puberty!). I started receiving comments about my body from my peers and appearance-based bullying which started to warp my view of myself. I became incredibly self-conscious and started engaging in restrictive behaviours because I thought that if I lost weight, the bullying would stop and I would be accepted by my peers.
These restrictive behaviours were seen as ‘normal’ because I didn’t look like I had an eating disorder. Back then, there wasn’t much discussion around eating disorders. We were briefly taught about anorexia but I didn't fit the picture presented to us of a person in a thin body. My eating disorder was disguised as a ‘diet’ because I thought I needed to lose weight.
In addition to restriction, I started engaging in bingeeating to help me manage with symptoms of depression and anxiety. I had a dysfunctional home life and along with the bullying at school, the only way I felt I could cope was to numb the feelings with food. The bingeing and restriction became a vicious cycle and continued into adulthood until it was finally picked up by a psychologist I was seeing.
At this point in my life I was going through a major depressive episode and the bingeing became quite distressing. My psychologist picked up that I was having difficulties with food and body image and referred me to a dietitian who specialised in eating disorders. I looked her up that night and on her website she described bingeeating disorder – it was a light bulb moment for me.
I’d spent so long trying to identify what I was going through. I felt like there was something ‘wrong’ with me. Each time I went to the GP I was told to get on the scales and lose weight, I didn’t know how to explain to medical professionals that there was more to the story. I was so grateful that my psychologist identified my disordered eating so I was able to get help and that’s why I am passionate about sharing my story so others can get the support they need!
from cloudcore
