Lived Experience Forum

[Oaktree]

Oh my gosh @Ybother your art is amazing, I can't do realism. You are so talented 

Meggle

[HenryX]

@Ybother 

Meggle expressed my own thoughts when I saw your work, @Ybother .

Beautiful

Best Wishes

HenryX

[Oaktree]

Hi @Ybother 

you need to learn to tag in this forum my friend so people don't miss your comments. I only found your artwork accidentally when I came back to check about a thread that @Judi9877 mentioned. All you need to do is type @ symbol followed by the name and then you select the name from the drop down menu and voila you have tagged someone. Give it a go using my name and see if you can get the hang of it. Good luck

Meggle

[Ybother]

Thank you. @Oaktree 
I don’t draw much at the moment, my creativity has been sapped out of me.
Serialism is actually my favourite style,
Salvador Dahl is my favourite.

[HenryX]

@Ybother 

Hello  

I saw, what I believe may be your name, on your art work, and I much prefer that name. However, we are here in this space, with our pseudonyms and avatars.

Some of the ideas, in previous posts on this thread, express much of what I would like to speak of with you.

I can certainly understand those feelings and thoughts, such as “I'm sick of everyone laughing at me, ...” and “I undermine the things that happened to me...” and “my head is a total mess because of what happened.” You can see that I have reflected on those types of thoughts and feelings that I also have experienced, when I was responding to Meggle, on this thread,

at 2.21pm on the 6 June '21.

In that post I was speaking about myself, and thoughts that I have, at various times:

"Many of us still have difficulty addressing those previous life issues, often not so much because of the issue itself, but we still don't wish to take resources from those, whom we may perceive, need them more than we might. Sometimes, I believe that we also have adopted the idea from others, that we are over dramatising the effects of whatever issue that we are addressing. Consequently, we tend to try to minimise, or understate the issues, memories and recollections, that we face."

"memories and recollections" added to quote from text of previous post.

I think that those ideas connect with yours that I have brought from your comments, in the previous paragraph.

I can say to you, that speaking with a counsellor last week, I said “I am really annoyed at the fact that I am still dealing with the events that happened to me in childhood, at my age”. I am aged now, in my early seventies .

Those events have caused me concern during all those years, and not only concern, but I think that those events have, in many ways, adversely influenced relationships and other life situations, especially work.

However, those events and the associated memories and recollections, have also contributed to my capacity to understand other people in their pain and distress.

I do like to think that my own memories, pain, distress and depression have been turned to useful purposes in my connection with other people, and especially through my work.

As I have said, in some ways, I am still dealing with the effects of those events in my past, and the memories and recollection, at both the conscious and sub-conscious levels.

Unfortunately, I can't tell you that it all goes away, but we can in this imperfect world, turn them, as others have done, to a good purpose and effect, in support of other people who have experienced similar events in their lives.

It is my hope, that you may also be able to work through your memories and recollections, with the assistance of appropriate counselling, to a point, where you can make them useful, for yourself and others.

As I said to you earlier, from what I have seen of your interaction with others, just on this forum, you have a great deal to offer, if you can use your feelings, in such a way, that it provides you with a learning experience, and improves your ability to help others in and through similar situations.

With My Very Best Wishes

HenryX

[Ybother]

@HenryX @The  as no you. 

one day I hope to be able to help people.

 I have been told I'm good with people I just don't feel like that at the moment,

yes it is my art work. I did not realise you could see the name. On the phone it's rather small so oh well, you all know now 🤦🏼‍♀️

[HenryX]

@Ybother 

Hello

Thank you for responding to my post

I like your real name, whatever name that you use here. It would be my hope, that at sometime in the future, you may wish to either use your name, if you would consider that would not compromise your anonymity, or rename your pseudonym to a more positive one. Just my hope.

It's interesting that what other people have told you affirms my impression of you, simply from posts on this forum, as a person who can engage with other people in a positive way.

I understand that it is important, for our own progress and development, that we not try to run away from or avoid our own reality, at any given time. As you say, “I just don't feel like that at the moment”. It really is important, I believe, to acknowledge our feelings and thoughts. If we try to avoid or run away from them, they just submerge into our subconsciousness and fester like a boil.

I would be keen, if you would be happy to include more of your art work on your "forum images", to be able to see what ever you would like to upload.

Thank you again for being as open with me as you have. I am not just aware in a theoretical sense, but in a very real and personal sense, that expressing descriptions of events and the subsequent feelings, emotions and thoughts can be very difficult.

With My Very Best Wishes

HenryX

[HenryX]

@Ybother 

Hello

A few thoughts following our discussion last night and this morning by

@HenryX 

I believe that difficult financial, relationship, and personal circumstances, pressure of work and/or studies and events that cause us significant pain and distress, can seem to narrow down our sense of the funnel of time through which we are travelling. This process can make it seem that everything is condensed and pressed together in an interconnected mesh around us. It is when we actually get into a better position, in any or all of these aspects of our life, that we can separate and deal individually with these elements of our lives.

It can sometimes feel that it takes more effort, than we have available to us, to see through to a better place. As all discussions on this forum are open to everyone, you are welcome to look at any or all the discussions that I have had with people here, since I rejoined the forum in February this year.

You can access my profile page and all those discussions by first left-clicking my forum name @HenryX , which will give you access to my profile and all the discussions. In all those discussions we relate to each other in different ways depending on the circumstances described and our respective views on each circumstance. Some of the discussions are light greetings and courtesies, others are deeper, about specific concerns that people have in their lives. Many have described trauma early or later in life. Each person is here because they are wanting to address issues and/or experiences that have caused them, or people they care for, and about, difficulty, pain or distress, to the point that it is, or has become a mental health issue. Some people are here as carers of someone with a, or a number of mental health issues.

You may see that I 'talk' with each person differently according to how they present themselves and the issues that they wish to discuss.

In terms of difficulties that we can share with one another. It doesn't even have to be the same events that we have had, or experienced. In the case of our discussion, your description of the feelings, memories, recollections and thoughts, brings to my mind the recollections and feelings about my own negative, and sometimes, positive experiences. In fact, the paradox is, that if I did not have revived, those recollections and thoughts, I could not empathise, or in any way identify, with the feelings and thoughts about the circumstances that you are in at the present time. That would make any sharing of our thoughts and feelings almost meaningless. In effect we might as well be robots.

What, I guess, I am saying, is that it is really only through our own experiences that we are able to empathise, and possibly, in some way, identify and relate to someone else's negative experience and circumstance, as is also the case with shared enjoyment of positive experiences.

It is only by dealing with our subsequent thoughts and feelings about those events, and, packing them into an accessible package and storing them, rather than trying to get rid of them, that we can, eventually, be in a position to share with and support others through their negative experiences, or shared enjoyment of similar positive experiences.

That is why, I believe, that even on a forum, where we only know each other by a pseudonym and an avatar, that we can relate and be of assistance to each other. We do that by sharing the details of our present thoughts and feelings, whether they are positive and uplifting or negative and seem to weigh us down.

Considering the mutual support aspect of interaction on the forum, this discussion also helps me. The process is not one way. Discussions such as you and I are having, enable me, in this instance, to make some sense of my own experiences and to give them some value. That last statement might seem strange, but it is sometimes worthwhile to unpack our feelings and review them, so that they do not fall so deep into our subconscious that they can do us harm, without us realising that that is happening. This is where the word and meaning of cathartic comes into play. When we state vocally, or in writing our circumstances, feelings and thoughts.

These are just a few thoughts that I have had following our discussion last night and this morning.

While you have stated that you do not think that your situation will get any better, I can say to you that I believe it can and it will, from my own, personal experience. That is not to say that life gets to a lovely plateau and stays there. But, from my own experience of the ups and downs of this cyclic life that we live, there will be much better times in your life. I very much hope that you will allow and work towards that happening.

With all the Care, Consideration and Empathy

that I can offer to

You @Ybother 

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Ybother]

@HenryX 

Thanks, honestly I'm just ready to give up.

 I'm sick of feeling like the brunt of everyone joke and to be honest. I'm not comfortable with where I'm living, don't feel comfortable with the way iv been treated at university, just over all very upset with my treatment in general over the last 5 years.

 I'm just to hurt, it's totally destroyed everything for me.

before I had the trip thatvwas the single most devistating experiance in my life, I was happy.

every thing was going perfectly,

I don't want to see them ever again amd I just want to get away from all of them.

every one feels like an enemy since my so called friends and family got involved.

 I just want it over, but most of all I want the 5 years back, on top of the 30 that have already been stolen from me.

so all and all I'm so hurt it's been a total $(@;:&! Nightmare.

I never want to experience such an awful event in my life again.

a total (&$:;@$ waist of my life 

[Charis]

Hi @Ybother  
Sorry to hear you are having a tough morning, I have sent you an email to check in. 
Charis