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soppykat
Senior Contributor

My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

Hi - I take 9 different medications each day for my various mental and non-mental illnesses.  Because of that and my ECT that I had years ago, my brain is just flat.

I can't think for myself at times, and people give me a lot of crap over my weight 😞 

I feel like nobody in this stupid world understands me at all 😞

Last week I felt like dying.

 

I just wish I could find some friends or something because I don't really have any at all.  People are sick of me talking about all my mental health issues and mainly my depression.

My friends keep asking me why I don't smile.  It's because I am just feeling so down that I have nothing to be happy about.  Because of all the medications I take, I am pretty certain that I am going to die earlier than everybody else, due to the fact that they are poisonous substances.  

I hate my life 😞

15 REPLIES 15

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

@soppykat  Hey soppykat (cute name btw) and welcome to the forums.  I know what you mean about hating to take all the medications and how poisoness they are in the long run. Unfortunately I dont think I will be able to be one of the ones who goes medication free ..... I am giving it alot of thought atm. You wont be alone here my friend there are many people in the same boat as yourself so you are amongst friends even though they are online friends.

 

My new years resolution is to get fit and there is a fitness thread called My fitness journey  which you might like to have a look at. We are all at various stages of getting fit and are supporting each other along the way. Have you had a look at the Good Morning!  thread yet it is a good way to say hello and introduce yourself to the other formites.

 

Anway take good care of yourself and dont be shy in saying hello to everyone. Love greenpeax

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

Hi - that is nice that you like my username - I am going a bit happier today, but I am still very depressed.

 

I just hope I have a good Xmas day, and not a depressing one.

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

Hi @greenpea - I am feeling really depressed still deep inside.  I don't know what to do 😞

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

@soppykat  Hey soppykat I cant talk now as I am going for a walk in a minute with neighbour. Will be online later. Take care of yourself. Love peaxxx

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

@soppykat  Hey soppykat hope you are feeling a bit better. People are hanging around the Christmas lounge  area if you want to come and say hi. xx

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

Hi again @greenpea - It is the new year, and I don't know how I am really feeling.  As always, I try to put a brave face on.  However, deep down inside, I am really depressed and near-psychotic.

 

I am still continously thinking about death all the time.  I don't why I am such a pessimistic person either. 

 

Help me someone please 😞

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

@soppykat  Hi soppykat I am sorry that you are in such a bad place atm. Do you have a doctor that you can see next week sometime sooner better than later? We are here for you sweetie try not to despair.

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

Hi again @greenpea - a doctor won't do anything.  I am supposed to be getting counselling or something like that, but I don't think their office is open until Monday.  Also, I don't wanna be put into the ward again either.

 

I don't know what to do - maybe I could ring up Lifeline or something - eeek 😞

Re: My brain feels flat and I am super depressed

@soppykat  yes lifeline and there is the suicide callback hotline which is great because you can do it on the computer without talking on the phone. I have used them in the past and found them very helpful. I will be on for the rest of the night so you wont be alone 🙂

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