Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

@Meowmy @Owlunar @Gazza75 @Ali11 

I decided to go alone for a walk. Omg I couldn’t even do thst in my own. I walked about 15 mins and broke down. Ended up calling my clinic and spoke to the nurse. She stayed on the phone while I tried to calm down and walked home. She talked to me and I was a mess. 

I’m not home yet just sitting on a bench seat in the sun while I calm down. 

Felt like an idiot for not been able to walk alone. I felt someone was watching and following me. 

I’m almost home. 

[Meowmy]

@BlueBay relax, enjoy the sun. Have a good afternoon.

[Gazza75]

Hi @BlueBay , your certainly not an idiot.  Theres no shame in a few tears and hopefully you will feel better after it.  Take your time and enjoy the walk.  Try not to be so hard on yourself.  It's good you are reaching out for and getting support.

[Owlunar]

It does sound horrible @BlueBay 

I am glad you rang the clinic and the nurse helped you to calm down - I hope you are home by how and can lie down and do nothing for as long as necessary

Only you really know how bad everything is right now - although you tell us a lot which is good for you and keeps us in the picture - there are probably things you don't tell anyone - which is okay - we all have our personal privacies - 

But are you feeling really safe right now? You've been here before - stress can get too much for you - and I do understand - 

Take the rest of the day gently - and keep to yourself when the house gets noisy again

And keep in touch

Dec

[BlueBay]

Hi @Owlunar  got home before from 

the hairdressers. Got my colour done and cut.

Because I’m going out for dinner with the girls from wirk no one has bothered about dinner. No way am I cooking dinner for everyone. Hubby sitting around nit even rushing to  organise dinner. I’m sitting here just blocking it out. 

I’m going soon so I don’t care about them. 

I’m still thinking I need time away. But I just can’t atm. Oh it’s so confusing. I’m just not sure. 

Im safe for now. 

I know thst once stressed like this it takes time to come back down. 

My psych is away at the moment. What I could do is ask him if I go in and only stsy 7-10 days. That way I would only lose 1/2 week of pay. Hubby knows that my psych wants me to go in several times a year. So he’s aware. 

I know my doctor thinks it’s not good but he isn’t me, he’s not living with a chaotic household. 

And if I go in with a plan of what I can wirk on while in there that will help my psych understand. 

Ok maybe I will email him and ask him about hospital stay and see what he says. 

@Gazza75 @Meowmy @Ali11 @Former-Member 

[Meowmy]

@BlueBay Hello hope you enjoy your night out with the girls. Think it may be a good idea to have a stay in private hospital, to calm, to learn some self coping skills and may even make some supportive friends. Gradually with support of hospital programs and workshops, form supportive network with people who understand, life would be a lot better. 

[Ali11]

Hope the night out is enjoyable @BlueBay, it must feel nice to have a new colour and cut for the dinner  Keep us updated with how you go with the psych and hospital. Sending love  

[Shaz51]

@BlueBay, my sister

[BlueBay]

Hi @Ali11 @Meowmy @Owlunar @Gazza75 @Former-Member @Shaz51 

and others following - 

I didn’t enjoy dinner. My so called “friend” came and it was all about her. She’s a psin. I feel like I shouldn’t be there. Like I’m a bother and a nuisance. 

I realised after I left thst I dont have a life plan like sll the others. Everyone there was talking about their lives and what their plans are. What plans do I have? I left feeling very depressed more than before I got there. 

Now I don’t want to speak to anyone. I can’t think.  I just want to hibernate on my own.  

I don’t care about work, family and friends anymore. 

All I have is a pathetic life 

[Meowmy]

@BlueBay think it is hard for you to connect with people who haven't experienced MI. Don't take it personal.Lots of my coworkers have regular outings, parties, catch ups that I don't feel part of.Underneath all that, everyone struggles on somethings. Think just relax and unwind for the night.