Hi,
I also have a child (son) who is 17 and has struggled with mental health issues for around 4 years now. He has been diagnosed as having major depressive disorder and social anxiety disorder. Throughout my struggles with him, and the school and health system, the one thing that I have learned is that above and beyond the systems that are out there, is that I am the number 1 primary support person in his life.
I have watched my son fall out of mainstream schooling to now be in a residential care facility and SPS school. I have had to sit by and watch friend after friend disappear and leave him isolated in his own misery. I have also had to witness family deliberately and hurtfully turn their back on my son and offer no support of either him or me. It's not been easy. In fact it has been very, very hard, painful, and at times overwhelming. When this happens you begin to feel like you are swimming against the stream. Everything is hard and difficult. Even getting appropriate treatment or attention is hard.
I have also been in the predicament of having to call Police and Ambulance in order to maintain my son's safety and have been in "insane" situations where I felt there was no support.
What you need to do is keep facing forward and swim against the tide. Perservere and forge forward. If you can connect with one professional, be it a counsellor or psychologist, this would be good. Continuity of history becomes important, as does connection with one individual who understands the full story. For me I was able to establish this via a psychologist in private practice. My son has been engaged with her for 3.5 years and she has been very instrumental in achieving further support. Additionally he has also seen the same psychiatrist for 3 years - again providing us/him with continuity of care and the ability to open further avenues of treatment and care. If you are not in the position to afford private consults then I would recommend becoming acquainted with your local mental health care team or community services with a view to establishing a long-term rapport with them If you become familiar with the local mental health care team they do offer after hours support for emergency psych situations, so that may be another thing to consider as opposed to other emergency interventions. A psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to refer your daugher to the mental health care team for ongoing management and care.
In the meantime you have to ensure that you look after yourself and take balancing time out. As a carer and mother you can only do so much. I have learnt that my effectiveness as both carer and mother is very dependent on how well I am. The better I am, the better I can be for my child. Ensure that somewhere along the road you take time to focus on some good stuff for yourself because if you consistently give and expend outward energy it will take it's toll on you and ultimately affect your ability to function in a healthy and productive way.
You sound as if you are doing a wonderful job and I commend you on your strength and resilience.
All the best
Janna ❤️
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