Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[susansmith]

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone knows of any books or articles on:

- How to psychologically support someone with acute physical symptoms (e.g. pain, extreme fatigue spells, GI upset etc.) as a result of severe stress. For instance, what to say when the patient talks/worries about symptoms. How to balance your empathy and concern against the need not to validate and perpetuate the stress-pain cycle

- How to support someone suffering anxiety/depression as a result of being the "scapegoat" in a dysfunctional narcissistic family

The two issues are related- please note I have found books *about* these conditions but not about how to help someone else *with* them

Thanks so much in advance for your advice- please point me in the right direction if I am in the wrong place!

Kind regards, SS

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @susansmith,

welcome to the sane forums 🙂

hopefully someone has some ideas about resources for you

but i was just wondering if you feel comfortable to share more of your story? for example who you are in this situation and examples of challenges that you have faced that has led to these specific questions? just so that people can really understand what you need and emotionally support you in these challenges

[Lunar]

Hello @susansmith,

It sounds like you are really trying to help and support someone who is experiencing some mental health issues currently, they are lucky to have you looking out for them.

Firstly, I think what you said about finding a balance between being empathetic towards this person without further validating the pain-stress cycle is personal. I guess for you, how far are you willing to be empathetic towards someone with it still being helpful for them. I guess what I am trying to say, is that there is only so much support and empathy you can give someone without completely burning yourself out, and it sounds like you are trying a lot to support them and that no doubt would be helpful.

In terms of what exactly to say, I have found this interesting article on Effective Communication which might be helpful to read might help to address them in getting some extra support elsewhere, just so you don't burn yourself out.

I think the best thing you can do for this person is to take care of yourself and how you are coping with this situation as this is what you can control. Then you are able to be supportive of them by checking in on how they are feeling and maybe even collaborating with them on getting some extra support to address the anxiety, constant worry and stress cycle as that is something that can be worked on in therapy and they can control.

Keep us updated if you need any more help and take care,

Lunar