Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[janedoe2]

My partner went through a horrible episode a few years ago. He has started to talk about his experiences. In the past he would say it wasn't worth talking about. Now he is talking about his many profound experiences during his episode. I've been listening and comforting. I'm sure I'm helping by being supportive and listening. Is that enough? Is all I need to do is sincerely care for him? I'm honored he can talk to me. I just want to make sure I do no harm.

[pip]

@JaneDoe 2. Congratulations that your hubby is able to believe in you enough to share his experience. You are doing everything he needs at this time. I'm sure as he needs to talk or want to hug for reassurance, he will let you know. You cannot harm him by listening without showing prejudice (which I'm sure you're not). Not many men do open up to their spouses, it's fantastic he is. Have you got someone to talk to when you need to, to help you if it gets too much. Take care of yourself too, it's important. Dr's psych's mental health carers need 'shoulders' too.

[CherryBomb]

@janedoe2 as @pip it's great that he feels comfortable and secure to open up with you. But from what you've written, I get the sense that you're worried about what he's actually saying. Is that right, or have I misunderstood?

You mentioned that he is talking about previous episodes that he now considers as 'profound'. What does this mean? Is he viewing his previous episodes as something that gave him insight? Or are there concerns that what is saying sounds odd?

If there are concerns that what he saying does sound delusional or bizzare, it is important to listen non-judgementally, but also not reinforce these thoughts. 

May I ask what your partner's diagnosis is? 

[janedoe2]

I describe it as profound as it has effected him. Ie the whole episode experience. I'm not worried about what he is saying at all. I'm very proud of him to be recovering with courage to reflect on what he has been through.

[janedoe2]

Pip thank you. I do have someone to talk to. I understand the need to get support.

[CherryBomb]

That's wonderful @janedoe2 and sorry for misinterpretting what you said. 

Is sounds like you are being a great support, listening, non-judgementally.  Keeping the communication lines opens is really important. This is a great opportunity for both you and him to learn from his previous episodes so that it can equip both of you to manage an episode if one should happen again. 

[Shaz51]

That's wonderful @janedoe2

helping by being supportive and listening. ( Is that enough ) -- yes it is at the moment @janedoe2

Is all I need to do is sincerely care for him -- Yes @janedoe2, tak one day at a time , and just do what you are doing now , don`t psh him , just love him

this is what i have been doing with my husband who has a mental illness

Sending you hugs

[janedoe2]

Thank you Shaz51.

[Shaz51]

You are welcome @janedoe2

If you have any questions please ask, we are here for you  xx

There will be times where there will be ups and downs , but you are doing great

[Shaz51]

How are you going @janedoe2 xx

been thinking of you today , sending you hugs my friend